Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Knowledge and Faith

Isla suffered a minor concussion today.   It was a stupid fall out of the shopping cart while I was looking at something for a second.  The dumbest part was that I had actually made her sit in the seat up front and buckle in (which I usually don't do because she fights it so much).  Any way it was a pretty sizable fall (a bit more than five feet) onto the cement floor which was followed by serious puking when we got home.  Details aside, after a few hours of observation at the doctors office and a very stressful day of watching her, not allowing her to eat solids until dinner time and keeping her up without a good nap all day, she is finally sweetly sleeping in her bed with an "all clear," I guess.  As the gravity of the situation sinks in with a quiet moment alone; I am totally brought to my knees in humility and gratitude for the knowledge of God, our purpose for living, for families, for life, my faith in the truthfulness of this gospel, and for the gift of the priesthood power from God on this earth.  I trully hate thinking about life without those I hold most dear.  But somehow this "Plan of Happiness," this gospel brings me real comfort.  Not comfort that it is okay if my child or someone died, but real comfort that it will be okay because God is perfect and His love for us is perfect and that despite my imperfect understanding I can trust that love and joy will be at the heart of my life if I let myself walk with God, my Father in Heaven.  And so for that my gratitude knows no bounds despite the fear I might someday have to let go of someone for a time.  I hope not to be asked to do such now though, and am grateful my little girl is still fully functioning and with us.  And in this faith I will try to live with strength. 

Sorry I haven't posted so long, and this is what I first post about.  I have lots of fun things I should post about, and maybe I will get to it.  But for now, for some reason, maybe because it's just me alone tonight, I share my feelings with you.  Whom ever.  Tonight, this is how I feel.